By Attempted Murder

On the 12th Day of Starnesmas, my Outrage gave to me:

12 Donut boxes,
11 Buttered Buns,
10 Fruited Plains,
9 Plates of grits,
8 Linus posters,
7 Chicken sandwiches,
6 Book signings,
5 Kegs of Ranch,
4 Iced Tea Jugs,
3 Comment sections,
2 Dead Articles,
And A Restraining Order For Me.