By Jackstraw

On the 12th Day of Starnesmas, my Outrage gave to me:

12-Year-Olds Drumming,
11 Piping Hot Buns,
10 Ladies Dresses,
9 Lords A-Leaping (c’mon, we’re talking Todd Starnes here),
8 Maids A-Running.
7 Swanee Rivers.
6 Geese A-Roasting.
5 Golden Corrals.
4 Malls With Girls (Alabama only).
3 Cornish Hens.
2 Red Turtlenecks
And A Part In The Pageant For Me.