Requiem For Ranch

Delivered by MJ.

Welcome, friends.

It’s a sad day for us all, but, I think it is only good and proper that we come together in our grief. Not unlike yourselves, I found it difficult to muster up the strength to speak, but speak I must. I will speak in celebration. In celebration of a man who has brought so much to so many, regardless of whether they wanted it or not.

Lo, through these many years, we have been given a gift. A gift of righteousness and faith, a gift of persistence through our persecution. A gift of lessons cleverly disguised in ranch dressing and hot buttered buns. But, we saw. We saw through the film of grease stains on the monitor and crumbs on the keyboard. We saw through the heavily tinted windows, past the protests, to the everlasting truth shining brightly in our eyes. In some of our eyes. Those of you with shrouds or sunglasses will have to improvise.

The truth. The truth that all may wave their flag, given it is the right colors. The truth that all banners are permissible, providing it says something we like. The truth that all men and women in this great country of ours Can and Should take to their knees,should your motivations be pure. The truth that, regardless of our differences, twenty seven people can agree that we have suffered a great loss in our community today.

Let us join together to wish our lost leader well.

Please eject the cranky man from the back row if he is done taking attendance.

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