There is nothing wrong with your computer. Do not attempt to adjust the web page. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it silly, we will bring up our outrage at Todd. If we wish to make it even sillier we will bring up our gender preferences.
We will control the outrage.
We will control the “likes”.
We can roll the web page and make it flutter.
We can change the focus from the actual article to fat Todd jokes or sharpen it to Trump rage.
For the next article, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your computer. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the lunatic liberal mind to – The Pudding Zone.