By: JM

Fucking Moloch? That’s their bridge too far? Un-God-Damn-Believable. Lachlan will regret this…and have you talked to the Old Man yet?”

Maury had been Todd’s agent and business manager for over 10 years, and knew it was best to let him blow off some steam. 

“So how much is OAN offering? Sinclair? And if The Blaze hasn’t called yet they will soon.” 

The pause was a tad too long. “Maury?”

“Nobody has called, Todd. Not yet anyway.”

“Well, it’s only been two days. It won’t be long.” The car stopped. “Hey, where are we? This doesn’t look like The Petroleum Club.”

“It isn’t. They cancelled. Your book signing moved to the lobby of the affiliate that carried your radio show.” 

Maury opened the trunk, grabbed the box containing 25 copies of ‘Culture Jihad,’ and followed Todd inside. Across the lobby in front of a small “Todd Starnes” pennant stood a folding table and chair. 

“This is it?”

“Why don’t you have a seat while I get these books ready. And really, this is all about the fans anyway.”

“Yes. The fans. How much longer until the signing starts?”

“It goes for another two hours, but it’s early yet.”

That night Todd sat in his room, unable to sleep. Three fans. Three. Fucking. Fans.

What was his next move? He hadn’t wanted to fire Maury, but a book signing in a radio lobby? Unacceptable. And another book signing scheduled for someplace called “Sanitary Fish Market and Restaurant?” Embarrassing. Unfortunately, he HAD to figure out his next move soon. Although he’d made a good living working for Fox, his own website was hemorrhaging cash, and he’d paid sizeable non-refundable down payments to the Billy Graham Training Center for next year’s Fall Getaway.

“A GoFundMe? Too sad, I’ll look pathetic” he thought, opening his laptop. “Or will I be a sympathetic figure?”

Todd opened his laptop. “Maybe I’ll just read some of the comments my fans left for me to clear my head.”

Todd’s eyes widened and his heart struggled to quicken. This was it, the solution he’d been looking for!  “The Lord always provides for those in need. If this isn’t a miracle, I don’t know what is.”

He typed out his message:

“Dear CyanAirBalloon,

I see that you found a job paying $19,539 per month working online from home. Can you tell me a little more about it?

Best,

Todd”