Three Fifths=Twentyseven

By Fifth Dentist

Fifth [3…33…3^3…]

Amalie: “Huh?

Fifth: [27]

Fifth: [3*3*3]

Amalie: “Hey. Hello?”

The laptop screen glowed in the dimly lit coffee shop and scrolled various formations of threes before growing more bizarre.


Amalie: “What does that mean, Fifth?”

Fifth: [Sorry Amalie. I can’t sort it.]

Fifth: [It’s the threes. Threes of threes. Why? Why three?]

Fifth: [Three cubed. Twentyseven. Three Three Three.]

Amalie: “But, we were talking about what happened to Todd Starnes, buddy. What happened?”

Fifth: [Sorry Amalie. It…just…twentyseven. It hit me on Monday morning like a massive cube. It’s got me all discombobulated. I mean, Fifth. Right? Fifth! But…three. Threes. Threes seem more perfect. How can three be the key?]

Amalie: “OK man. But, really. It is just a number. Try to think of something else. You know, I was reading on Fox News that a Florida man got his head stuck in a Skee-Ball machine.”

Fifth: [Good old Florida man. He never quits. LOL.]

Amalie: “Yeah. Kind of a bummer without Todd Starnes stories on Fox. All we have is Florida Man and damsels in distress.

Fifth: [I miss the glory days. Who would have thought that when we were ripping on Todd, that Fox would ever stop publishing his stories? You would think they would at least explain why.]

Amalie: “Like one day…poof. There was just no more Todd.”

Fifth: [Three]

Amalie: “Fifth. Hey Snap out of it, man.”

Fifth: [3=3]

Fifth: [33=33]

Fifth: [THREE!]

Amalie: “Fifth, this is getting too weird. Let it go. Let’s go find that Florida Man article.”

Fifth: [333]

Fifth: [333]

Fifth: [333]

Amalie’s laptop screen flashed and rippled…

Todd: {hello.. .can you hear me?}

Amalie: “Fifth. How did you come up as Todd Starnes. Stop playing.”

Todd: {Who is Fifth? I am Todd Starnes. Can you hear me? Help!}

Amalie: “Is this really you? Where have you been, Todd? I hear you on your podcast, but we never get your stories on Fox anymore.”

Todd: {Jim Acosta and Wolf Blitzer kidnapped me. Fox is running my show with AI posing as me. They refused to pay the ransom to CNN.}

Amalie: “But, how are you chatting here now?”

Todd: {I hear CNN assassins in the next room saying that a power surge hit the whole island. My magnetic cell door released and I found a keyboard. I probably don’t have much time. Please get the word out.}

Amalie: “Wait Todd. How much is the ransom? We can buy your freedom”

Fifth: [What happened? I was just eclectrocuted by my keyboard.”]

Amalie: “I think. . .you found Todd.”

Todd: {Fifth? Are you the one who found the code?}

Fifth: [Code? How did you get on our chat?]

Todd: {I don’t now. All I know is that I saw the screens in this room flash threes during the power surge.}

Fifth: [Threes? 3…]

Amalle: “Fifth, stop…wait. Todd! How much is the ransom?!”

Fifth: [333]

Todd: {Wait. The keyboard is humming. What is that?}

Amalie: “The ransom, Todd! Maybe we can save you!”

Fifth: [333]

Todd: {Impossible, Amalie. The ransom is Twenty-Seven dollars!}

Amalie: “Oh my God…you’re right. I’m sorry Todd.”

Fifth: [333]

Todd: {Wait! The bay door is opening! I see. It’s…Oh my God. I am in CNN’s Headquarters on Skull Island!}

Amalie: “Run, Todd! Come back to us!”

As Fifth Dentist was rendered unconscious by a second, stronger pulse of electricity, Amalie’s laptop flashed impossibly brightly, then went dark. In the dark screen, Amalie caught a glimpse of a CNN assassin standing directly behind her.

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